The five things I’ve Ben thinking about today:

1. Hey Browns fans, you signed this guy! I know, I know – the Browns had a good first day of free agency. But you know who had a better day? Twitter, because we got to tweet this picture of Desmond Bryant.

2. A world without cookies. At first I thought this was a report on New York City’s latest attempt to ban everything good in this world, but then I realized that the article was about the kind of cookies stored on your computer. Mozilla is blocking them unless you opt-in to them.  This directly flies in the face of big data and could undo 15 years of work to offer more targeted ads and ultimately sales leads. But this article does a better job explaining that. What I’m more curious about is the term ‘cookie’. Why cookie? Why not crumbs? Morsels? Nuggets? Sprinkles? It’s as perplexing as crop circles.

3. Are you aware fast food companies have underground hidden menus? If not, check out this top 10 list and see how many you can order. Some require a code word. Unfortunately none require a secret handshake. My favorite is the Neapolatin milkshake. The Grand Slam, from Wendy’s (four patties) seems absolutely deadly…unless you wash it down with a Diet Coke. That’s better.

4. The indestructible smartphone may be coming. (But that doesn’t mean it’s ok to take in the bathroom.) Graphene. It don’t play. And it might make your smartphone indestructible. Imagine, a phone that you can drop in the toilet, the garage, the parking lot, the kitchen; a phone your kids can play on and bang on. You know, pretty much what you do with your phone now…except it will be just fine. We are close. I’m pretty sure it only has to pass the ‘will it blend’ test before it’s available at a Walmart near you.Speaking of taking your phone in the bathroom, did you know 75% of people use their in the phone in the bathroom, for something, whether it’s calls, texting, emails, etc.? Reminds of that Seinfeld episode where George takes the book in the bathroom…proving again that everything in life can be tied back to Seinfeld.

5. Ain’t nobody got time for that. True, true. Today it seems nobody’s got time for that. But you know…when things are crazy and you’re running a mile a minute, you just need to make time for that. Especially on hump-day. Happy Wednesday.