The last time I heard the word, “Push!” I was squeezing a child from my loins – a feat, it turns out, that was easier than power squats at Fitness Together. At least when I popped out a child, I had an immediate reward, whereas power squats only gave me sore thighs.

I couldn’t stop thinking how much exercise was like having a baby. You literally have people yelling at you the exact same things you heard in the delivery room – “You can do it….push….you’re halfway there.” I was worried I’d have to sit on a doughnut afterwards.

When I walked in, I saw that my personal trainer was a female. This made me happy. I’d probably get an easier workout and I wouldn’t have to worry so much about body odor. Turns out that “Staci” is a code word for “torture monster.” After the power squats, I literally wanted to hit her (kicking was no longer an option since I could barely lift my legs). I’m happily married, but for the first time in my life, I wanted to spend time with someone named Ben Gay.

Staci is beautiful. Of course she is. With a body of steel. It’s no wonder all the guys clamor to have her as their trainer. Apparently, men like the rough stuff. Me? Next time, I’m hoping for …

I’m kidding about Staci. She’s amazing….and she’s determined to make me amazing, too.

All my life I’ve done aerobics of one kind or another but I have to admit, there’s something to this weight training. I feel stronger every day. What’s weird is that this strength is following me to my work life. It’s a pretty cool feeling. So, for all my friends who want to be tortured, I mean sculptured, let me know. Fitness Together offers free trial sessions. Maybe we can “push” together.