A recent post on “I’ve Ben Thinking” got me  thinking about the latest – and craziest – dieting fads. As I began my research – and let me tell you, it did not take long – I realized there is no shortage of diets that promise to help you lose weight (and keep it off) without actually exercising. This, my friends, should be the first red flag as you’re looking to get healthy.

In order to make my list, each “diet” had to meet two criteria: to have a goal of weight loss, and to be absolutely crazy.

1. The Surgical Mesh Diet: As referenced above, Ben recently found this piece about what is perhaps the most desperate weight loss tactic I’ve ever heard.

2. The Oktoberfest Diet: Can consuming only beer and brats contribute to weight loss? According to this guy, his commitment to Oktoberfest fare has helped him lose 14 pounds.

3. The Master Cleanse: We’ve all heard of this one. Water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper come together in a drink that will be the only thing you consume for ten straight days. No solid food. No alcohol. No fun.

4. The Cabbage Soup Diet: The good news? You can eat as much as you want … as long as it’s cabbage soup.

5. The Cotton Ball Diet: Yes, some people try to subsist solely on cotton balls. They’re low in calories, occupy room in your stomach and can apparently be digested. One thing they’re not? Food. Cotton balls are not food.

And there you have it, people. Honorable mentions go to the Tapeworm Diet and Air Diet. If you’re looking for a realistic diet plan to complement an exercise regimen, check out the U.S. News & World Report’s review on the nation’s top diets.